Lub-Dub

I have something deep in my heart which i would wanna share here. Too be frank I have only S$100 left to spend each month after paying all miscellaneous fees. Initially I have no struggle to this, but lately when I know a group of very fun people, every weekend they would go to high-end restaurants to eat. It might not seemed high-end to them, but it is to me. One time they will ask me out to sing karaoke which cost S$17. I would like to join but I rejected because I realised I have less than S$20 in my pocket for me to spend the next few days.

I would not feel so bad or hurt if the following did not happen.

Guess what? One of fun friend's (who is also my hometown friend) girlfriend, said this to me in front of a few people, saying that "Chun Keat ah, why are you so uncle one? Everytime ask you out to play arcade games and go hang out you always reject one."

First of all, I thought they understand that I am a student and I surely have my limit financially, furthermore coming here to NUS to study is not cheap. My dad has to sacrifice a lot for my studies which amount up to RM200,000 for a 4 year course. So when I heard that I was sad and down.

Next, I kena another time from another fun friends of mine. We were on the way to some place in Singapore on Christmas eve. While they were suggesting where to go, one of them said, "We should bring that guy to go around places, that guy who always stay in Kent Ridge, always around the area of NUS in his hall ." I was like, do I deserve that kind of insult? I am trying to save money by going out less, although I am an outgoing person (I am sure my friends know about this). I do not appreciate this kind of "recognition".

I am very down right now. Luckily, there is a friend by the name S. The only one who understood how I felt. He said he was a student before and he understands my situation when his friends took him out to places which requires to spend a lot when he was in University. I never tell him how I felt but I thank God for placing a friend who understands my situation. At least I can still smile throughout the whole journey with them.

p.s.- I have no hard feelings towards those guys but I really hope they do understand my situation. I think I will let them know in few days time. I don't think I can follow them out in the future already, there is no way I, one person affect the whole group of them to go makan at cheap places. The only way is for me to opt out.

"Lub-Dub literally is the sound of a heart pumping. In my blog, I will use "Lub-Dub" to signify the post which represents the voice of my heart. You can expect my opinions or feelings for that moment writing the post."